It is known that seniors often suffer from loneliness. But there is another form of loneliness that has nothing to do with bad contact. Even when seniors live with loved ones, a spiritual void can arise. This spiritual loneliness is a taboo subject for relatives, because everything here revolves around dying and death. Nobody likes to talk about this supposed end of life. Some find it macabre when they involve their father or mother in such a conversation. But is it really like that? Or is it conceivable that people who are nearing the end of their life harbor many questions and fears?

The taboo subject of dying

What if i die? Could be an internal question that many seniors secretly ask themselves. People who need care or who suspect that their clock is running out of time ask themselves special questions. In addition, there is an unimaginable anxiety that has never played a role in life before. What can I expect in the future? This could such a question be while knowing that the next big event is about to die. We have the answer to all questions of life and health. If we don’t know, the doctor can provide information. In addition, an optimal treatment method is included.

But nobody explains to the senior what happens when he dies and how he can concern with it mentally. It may well be that not all seniors want to know. But some have these questions and fears that no one addresses. Anyone who starts such a conversation scares their relatives. “You will not die!” can be the daughter’s disgruntled response when a mother asks questions about dying or death. And that’s the end of the subject.

Probably also for the reason that we know next to nothing about dying and death itself. Above all, the subject of dying and death is taboo for us. People like to talk about births – not death. The senior remains alone with his questions and experiences a form of spiritual loneliness.

How can I talk about dying?

First of all, you need to make sure that the person wants to talk about this topic. This can be found out with a casual question. “Are you afraid of death?”, for example, would be a question. Based on the reaction, you will feel whether the topic is relevant. Often the thought of death is accompanied by a religious perspective. It is important that the family member know the person’s beliefs.

It is also about how the person concerned would like to be buried. Later, as a relative, you will be grateful that you were able to do the will of the deceased. Because in the end you have no choice but to pay your last respect to the deceased. In retrospect, many people regret not having viewed this information while the deceased was alive. Because the need to organize the funeral according to the wishes of the deceased is great.

The greatest fear of dying lies in the fact that many people see dying as an inexpressible pain. But it is no longer necessary to suffer like this these days. The palliative care units specialize in ensuring that pain can be localized and treated well. Let the affected person know and take away the worry of a painful death if you can guarantee it.

The life review

Many people who foresee their imminent death conduct a life review inwardly. Were my actions and choices in life correct? Was I a good person, partner, or parent? What is there to regret and what was a good deed? You as a relative have been part of this life. It stands to reason that this topic should be discussed together. This also offers the opportunity to come to terms with things from the past. Repressed events can come to the surface now.

You should then be there for the person concerned and have the appropriate understanding. Because then you are a real emotional help and support. Sometimes this uncomfortable memory can even have something to do with you. It is conceivable that your father or mother will regret an event with you now in the face of death. Maybe you were treated unfairly or there was an argument that was never properly resolved. Now is your chance to forgive and to forgive. But of course that also applies to the opposite case. Did you ever let your mother or father down and never concern with the subject? Then now is the time to apologize.

No ratings

What you should absolutely avoid are negative reviews about the affected person’s life. While many mistakes seem to adorn the agenda of life, it is not conducive to releasing seniors from the fear of dying. Because in many minds there is still the thought of a punishment that awaits the soul in the hereafter. Life’s mistakes are then resolved. Even if these ideas are based on Christianity, some people who are not religious also believe in punishment. Exaggerated positive evaluations of life’s work should also be avoided. Otherwise your participation in the life review will no longer be taken seriously.

Mindfulness and attention

It is often the case that the senior is in the hospital and passes this sentence on to his relatives: “I think I am dying”. But nobody takes this statement seriously. Sometimes the judgment is also dismissed with the fact that the affected person is in pain or is under the influence of medication. A short time later, the same relatives are shameful and have to find out that the senior actually died. The scenario occurred that the relatives did not wish for: the senior died all alone and no one was with him to hold his hand. That was exactly his greatest wish in the last hour of his life! For many relatives, it is a drama when they can no longer say goodbye to their loved one. Self-accusations are the order of the day.

People who are close to death can sense the event ahead. This is not always the case, but it is also not uncommon. What exactly the person feels or feels near death is unknown. Speculative it can be the feeling of diminishing vitality. Or visions that appear and take on religious hues.

Classically, this includes angels who appear in front of the inner eye and announce that they will soon pick the person up. Your father or mother’s death only happens once, so it is one of the most important events for anyone. You cannot repeat this date or move it to a later date. Therefore, it makes sense to pay attention to statements like impending death. Take them seriously and be there for them when they need you.

You will be grateful that you had the opportunity to accompany the dying person into death. You can also ensure that you are having a calming effect on the person. This makes it easier for the dying to let go of earthly life.

Love and gratitude

What is also often neglected is the declaration of love at the end of life. Even after everything else has been discussed, people tend to forget this phrase, “I love you”. Of course, you should only make this statement if it is true. Some relatives are superficially concerned with this topic. “My mother knows I love her!”, could be such a statement.

This can be caused by parenting patterns. If such statements have not been cultivated in the family from childhood, the adult has a problem with them too. In the best case, the statement “I like you” was to be expected. So we haven’t learned to formulate concrete expressions of love for our parents or our siblings. Therefore we shy away from making this statement. But at the hour of death, if you give up this shyness, you can give the dying an incredible amount of peace and happiness.

We can only imagine what it will do for the affected person when they hear this phrase from you for the first and last time in their life. Expressing gratitude that the dying person gave you can also have an emotional calming effect. Those who take these things to heart can be assured that they have done everything to make death easier.

About the author

The author El Maya is a spiritual medium and has published few books on the soul, life plan, karma and life after death. This guide contains strategies to reduce your karma and find the soul center. Furthermore, she conducts workshops in mental training, future interpretation, clairvoyance and fortune telling.